Our kitchen gets little natural light, making it almost cavelike. Its one small window faces into the space between our house and the next. Behind me, in the view out the other windows, the garden emerges — from yesterday’s nearly wintry cold and gray and a few days of rain — in a glorious flourish. Rampant with lush greens, the plants offer a chorus of joy — buds racing to unfurl in full blooms, some blossoms spent, the sweet peonies to come, still tight in their closed layers, leaves vibrating in the excitement of a breeze, the maple seeds helicoptering down.
I peel a Minneola orange from California and think of Melanie Kissell. Â Yesterday as part of the #blog30 challenge, she told the Chicago weather to clear up. Today, lo and behold, it has. Magic.
Minneolas are interesting. I peeled this small one and separated the juicy segments, fingers getting a bit sticky. I took a bite. Delicious. So sweet. And with Minneolas, there’s just a hint of something not quite sweet. Not sour, not quite bitter. But to my tasting, it’s an undercurrent that shares some quality with bitter. A lot like motherhood really. Sweet. Juicy. And just a hint (sometimes more than a hint) of something less than sweet. Sometimes it’s full-on heartbreak.
Writing has been my lifetime path, vocation, avocation, and the way I’ve processed everything that happens. While not everyone is on this same path, I love the idea of living a legacy, and in this case, leaving a legacy with your words. Sure, actions speak louder than. But you can create things with words that will live in a different way.
[Side note #1: What I talk about here is writing. I save a draft of the post and see that my daughter has left me a mother’s day video link. So, yes. You can use this same process if you record audio or video, if those are your chosen forms. Or do all of it. The technology is here to serve you, not vice versa!]
For mothers, fathers, and others who want to begin to write a legacy, I suggest following five simple steps. Don’t make it hard for yourself. Give yourself credit for every little bit. Be kind to yourself in this, and it will show up in all sorts of unexpected ways and places.
Your regular practice will enhance your results. It will show you things from a different perspective as well as creating your legacy in writing. If you can do five minutes daily, great. If longer, great. If not daily, great. This is an open-handed, open-hearted, and flexible companion. It’s not one more thing to do, then beat yourself up for not doing.
[Side note #2: OK, if you have been with us in the #blog30 challenge, you KNOW the power of the daily practice. Need I say more? And maybe your blog IS part of your written legacy. That is fine. You don’t have to have something extra. Well, maybe you do, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Just write that little something extra to give the kids the context.]
1 Love the process.
You’re doing this for love. Start with that. Always start with that, no matter what you write (or film or record or dance or cook). Center yourself in the love you have for who you are writing to. Love yourself as you write, and love the loved ones who are the intended recipients of your legacy. Even if they are people you have never met.
2 Wake up.
It helps to be fully present in your body and with yourself. Make a commitment to follow through. Set your intention to record some small bit of your life — times, work, emotions, thoughts, questions, answers — in this way. Give it your full attention when you are doing it. Bring your body with you into the process.
3 Observe.
Start wherever you are. It often helps to get grounded in the physical world as part of your practice. Like the incomparable Geoff Hoff advised recently, bring in details from all your senses to make the surrounding environment come alive. Experience my kitchen and the Minneola, above. That’s just one small example.
4 Record.
Just write. Write with your mind on what you are doing. Write with love. Write with exquisite detail. Write your questions. Write the answers to questions not even asked yet. Write your dreams –Â daydreams, night dreams, siesta dreams. Even if you don’t know where you are going with the words or exactly what you want to say, if you approach it with love in your heart, awareness in your mind, full senses attuned to your environment, and gratitude for the process, no matter what specific words you say, your intentions will shine through with clarity.
5 Cherish with gratitude.
Bring a full heart to the process and express gratitude for every step, every nuance. Make it gratitude a constant companion on your journey.